Chaplains Grieve Too

Let me tell you a story about healthcare, because apparently I have a lot to process tonight.

When our patients die, we grieve. Sometimes, we hold ourselves together just long enough to bid farewell to families. Other times, we don't. We crumble, getting caught in our feelings about this loss. And then, we dust off our knees, compose ourselves and walk into the next room. We introduce ourselves to the next person, before we've completely recovered from the images of mangled bodies, tears and grieving loved ones. We do our best to empty ourselves in order to make room for the person in front of us. Yet, we still hold on to the memories of those that we couldn't save... and the rest of the show goes on around us. 

There’s times when we run, and rush, and hurry, and skip eating, and go 12 hours without urinating, and we'd give our firstborn for a cup of water. We get covered in phlegm, urine, feces, blood, infectious drainage, sweat, and tears. 

Health care is a life of fighting, defending yourself, sacrificing yourself, working weekends, missing holidays, and sometimes things like losing a patient makes you want to throw up your hands and say, “Fuck it, I’m out.”

But, you can’t. You do it because you love it. 

Pastor Anitta +♡