We are T-14 days until Christmas morning. I’m not sure if you’ve all been counting, but I sure have! For many folks, the weeks leading up to Christmas morning are often filled with traditions such as decorating a tree, returning to spiritual practices and spending time with loved ones.
Last night, I was watching the Christmas version of the show Sugar Rush on Netflix. In Sugar Rush, bakers compete for a cash prize while being judged on their cupcakes, confections and cakes. In the episode I was watching, one judge described a white chocolate cupcake as “One Note”. One note, meaning that there isn’t depth to the one flavor profile of white chocolate. This judge was inviting the baker to get creative in their use of other flavors and textures to make the white chocolate stand out.
As I’ve reflected this year on my life, my calling and my purpose, I’ve come to realize that I desire, at the core of who I am, to do December Differently. To finds ways to make Christmas pop against its one note flavor profile. Unlike many of my peers, I am not preparing a Christmas experience for children. I am disconnected from my family of origin and I’m living in a state where I have minimal, mutual relationships. People like me are often forgotten in Christmas plans. I suspect, that I share this identity with some of you, and a portion of our hospitalized patients as well. We exist in a marginal space that often goes unacknowledged during December. As I was preparing for chapel this morning, I found myself struggling for what to say, to acknowledge the disconnect that I feel, and I suspect others feel, from Hallmark’s Christmas. I came across this poem by Helen Jesty. It’s called:
Let the bells jingle by Helen Jesty
Let the bells jingle but make time for the tears to fall.
Eat, drink and be merry but do not go hungry in that inner place.
Rest, reflect and remember. Be true to yourself.
Many of us can’t play happy families at this time of the year.
December is for a difficult diagnosis as well as dreaming of a white Christmas.
December is for divorce as well as decorations.
December is for death and dying as well as discos and dancing.
December is for distances that separate us from people,
even those in the same room.
I’m going to reread the portion of this poem that is lingering inside of me.Disappointments in December are especially hard to bear.
Sometimes the light no longer shines in the darkness.
The desolation swallows us up and we die a little.
Yet a kindly word, a bird in flight, a tree alive with hoar and hips
can drown out despair and kindle determination to move on.
Dig down deeper than the tinsel to the place where hope is found.
Maybe, just maybe, the flickering flame will be fanned gently into fire.
December is for a difficult diagnosis as well as dreaming of a white Christmas.
December is for divorce as well as decorations.
December is for death and dying as well as discos and dancing.
December is for distances that separate us from people,
even those in the same room.
I often wonder, if my position as a Chaplain in this context, predisposes me to be attentive to the darkness that lingers in times of joy. Or, if this predisposition is one of the giftings that I bring to this work. Jetsy is able to capture the duality of this season which always exists, but often goes unnoticed, pushed aside or ignored. December has an intricate flavor profile. It is not the one note of a white chocolate cupcake. It is the caramel bourbon glaze, for those of us who feel a bit bitter and the sweet nutty filling for those of us who have found or made meaning, surrounded by the white chocolate cupcake, which holds us both simultaneously.
One of the ways that I’m Doing December Differently this year is by recognizing the complexity of this month for the people in my life. Instead of thinking about creating an experience or providing gifts for others, I am showing up and offering my presence as a present. As you engage in your own traditions and work over the next two weeks, what is one way that you can Do December Differently this year? In what ways can you deepen the flavor profile of this month, for yourself and those around you?
Beloved, December is for heart ache and joy, for despair and jubilation, wherever you find yourself today, know that you are welcome by me exactly where you are. Go in peace.
